Colour Me Kubrick

Directed by Brian W. Cook (2005) **

In the early ’90s, British travel agent Alan Conway began impersonating film director Stanley Kubrick, gaining money, free drinks and dinners, and homosexual favors, in the process — all unbeknownst to the real Stanley Kubrick. That Conway got away with the ruse as long as he did is a testament to the public’s ignorance and willingness to believe in celebrities; Kubrick himself was a private man who looked nothing like Alan Conway. Nor was he gay. These minor details didn’t stop Conway from derailing people’s lives with promises of stardom.

Brian W. Cook’s Colour Me Kubrick is a fictionalized account of this fascinating tale, and is owned by lead actor John Malkovich. Since the screenplay requires Malkovich/Conway to play many roles and types (depending on the person being conned), Malkovich gets a rare opportunity to use many of his talents. Conway sometimes take on the speech patterns of what sounds like Charlton Heston. Other times he’s a redneck, or poshly British, or some unknown character conjured in Conway’s mind. Malkovich’s body language is equally fascinating, the way he nonchalantly glides across a barroom or restaurant, casually looking for his next victim. It’s essentially a comic performance. It’s hard to conjure up much sympathy for such a cad, and the screenplay gives little reason to feel sorry for him when his reign ends.

Brian W. Cook knows the milieu from the inside; he worked as an assistant director on the original Alfie (1966). During his long career, he worked as assistant to Stanley Kubrick for several of his films, and it was during the shooting of Eyes Wide Shut (1999) that he, screenwriter Anthony Frewin and Kubrick first learned of the Kubrick imposter (whose real identity wasn’t then known). Kubrick attempted to contact those who had been duped, but most wouldn’t come forward, possibly due to embarrassment.

Colour Me Kubrick is one of a long line of confidence trick movies. Two similar movies that come to mind are Irvin Kershner’s The Flim-Flam Man (1967) and Steven Spielberg’s Catch Me If You Can (2002). Despite the fun of watching John Malkovich at his most devious, with a devilish glint in his eye, Colour Me Kubrick pales before these earlier films. The Flim-Flam Man had the smarts to feature additional main characters and added a dash of pathos to the story. Catch Me If You Can benefited from the character of FBI agent Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks), who spent years tracking down con artist Frank Abagnale. In this way, Spielberg’s film becomes a wry, comic version of Les Misérables in miniature. Cook’s film, though, is a one-note affair. Conway bamboozles (or attempts to bamboozle) one mark after another — and that’s it. There’s no character development or narrative progress to speak of. It’s fun to see Conway duping a heavy metal band, and fun to see an array of film directors and longtime actors in bit parts (Ken Russell, Marisa Berenson, Honor Blackman, James Faulkner). Cook uses music from Kubrick films to great comic effect, recreating the look and feel of specific Kubrick-directed scenes.

Conway’s downfall began when he duped New York Times theater critic Frank Rich, who later discovered the real Kubrick looks nothing like Conway and began researching. To add to the story’s irony: Conway died in 1998 of a heart attack three months before Kubrick also died — from a heart attack.

—Michael R. Neno, 2020 Dec 6